The Dreamweaver Podcast
Welcome to The Dreamweaver Podcast.
This is a podcast exploring the art and science of what it is to bring our dreams to life.
Hosted by holistic health practitioner, pain therapist & Dreamweaver founder Jesse Farmer, these conversations explore the relationship between health, psychology, purpose, spirituality, creativity and adventure, asking one central question:
What becomes possible when we organise our lives around love instead of fear?
Through solo reflections, conversations with inspiring guests, practical coaching insights and stories from an upcoming bicycle pilgrimage from Alaska to Argentina, we'll explore what it means to cultivate a meaningful life & become the people our dreams ask us to become.
Because perhaps our dreams aren't destinations to achieve...
Perhaps they're living relationships that invite us into deeper engagement with ourselves, eachother and life itself.
Whether you're navigating burnout, rebuilding your health, searching for purpose or standing on the edge of a dream that won't leave you alone, you are warmly welcome around the Dreamweave campfire.
The Dreamweaver Podcast
Cas Somerton - Threshold Portals - 002
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Sometimes in life we are lucky enough to encounter genius consciousness…
It may in the form of a phenomenal speech, an incredible piece of music, a cracking moment on the sports field or encountering a powerful idea brought to life.
We may even tap into moments of genius ourselves or we may be moved by a work of art that transcends our everyday experience through touching something beyond us.
Sometimes if we’re lucky we encounter something that dosn’t just inspire us but changes us through the alchemy of that spark of genius transmission…
My most recent case of touching this spark of genius has been through receiving this utterly incredible piece which is the work of my friend Cas as he brings his new project & life dream, Threshold Portals into the world…
Threshold Portals is a project focusing on the creation of the most incredible mandalas to mark a life transition - it could be a birth, a death or in my case the closing of a chapter to open up into an entirely new stage of life.
In the podcast we got into;
- The birth of Threshold Portals
- The creation of the awesome Faenix Dreamweaver mandala
- Cas' creative process
- & much much more...
If you feel the call to truly mark an important life event in a deeply beautiful & reverent way I cannot recommend commissioning a piece enough.
I cannot wait to see what this portal goes on to create in my life & in the lives of others & it will be a joy to see how Threshold Portals goes on to help, change & transform many people’s lives as it was done for myself.
Portal Of Portals;
& Insta;
https://www.instagram.com/thresholdportals
I sincerely hope this episode has been helpful & nourishing for you in your Dreamweaving journey.
If you've enjoyed today's episode & you are navigating health challenges, burnout, chronic symptoms & pain or you're seeking to to connect with & create your Dream this is the work I do with my clients.
For more information about health coaching, pain resolution & how I can support you in the cultivation of your dream visit;
www.faenix.co.uk
And you can subscribe to the Dreamweaver newsletter & Substack here; https://dreamweaverfaenix.substack.com/
And finally to ad your prayer to the Dreamweave scroll then please get in touch at jessefaenix@gmail.com
Thanks for listening, big love & wellwishes for your Dream,
Jesse ❤️🔥
Alrighty, welcome to the Dreamweaver podcast. Thank you for coming on. I am here with the very first guest of this podcast, which is Big Moment. This is my dear brother Cass Somerton of Threshold Portals. Welcome on, my bro. Okay. And yeah, there's a number of very specific reasons why you're coming on as a first guest, and this is uh the the main one being that you've created like the most beautiful work of art uh like I've I've ever been blessed to be in the company of like in terms of my my threshold portal. Well, it doesn't feel like mine, it feels like it feels like Dreamweavers, you know. You you painted this just utterly incredible mandala as an anchor for this movement of which I'm just so grateful, man. And I would love to just dig into threshold portals and everything that is, everything that is culminated towards this beautiful project that you're that you're in the midst of uh of getting off the ground. Uh just just deep gratitude for for for what you've done. And and you know, for anyone on on YouTube, this is the um this is the mandala. That's utterly incredible. So yeah, my brother, like welcome on, welcome on. Uh I I guess I'd just love to just kick off and just ask you, like, what is Threshold Portals? What's it what's what's it all about, my bro?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so Threshold Portals. I mean uh it was a project that sort of come to light. So I realized through my own creative practice and my through my own life, I um that I created works of art like this one behind me that like were at very specific times in my life when I was like going through transitions or something significant happened, and then often at the same time you I'd be going through like a creative innovation, so it'd be something new would happen in my practice and my work, and then that piece would become like a talisman or like a sort of monolith in my life, and I would keep it and it would be mine, and it would be something very special to me. Um, and then through a sort of series of events, which uh I won't go into too many tangents. Um, I came to this idea that actually, through my artistic practice, I can offer that to other people uh as a service to mark those thresholds in their life rather than trying to sell art through galleries and other things, which is a whole nother conversation potentially. Um yeah, I can be they can commission me at this time in their life, and then we can work together to create a portal like the one that you've got. Yeah, so that's sort of in an in a nutshell-ish.
SPEAKER_01Cool, cool. So so like the the the actual thresholds, like what um what what would what might someone commission you for to to to paint one of these amazing portals? What what might be an example of different thresholds in people's lives?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean the example behind me, so uh that was painted when um my partner at the time was um pregnant with our first child or with my first child, you know. Um so I didn't actually I guess actually one of the things is I didn't realise I was creating a portal, a threshold portal for myself at that point, but it happened at that time, and um it has sort of it became this sort of like sacred art, this sacred object in my life because it happened at that time and has become this really cherished object. So a birth is a good one, or a death. I've done someone recently where somebody had lost a father and yeah, met my work through um a dance collective where I display it. And um yeah, so um yeah, births, deaths, uh personal transitions. It can kind of be anything significant in your life that you you want to mark, you know. Um there are kind of like the obvious threshold, the obvious you know, thresholds that we cross, or or it could be something small, or you know, or maybe you just want to celebrate yourself. That's the other thing, you know. It's like sometimes you just want to maybe just treat yourself to something special.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no, absolutely, man. And yeah, this this one of these mandalas is for sure a treat. Like Jesus, it's it it was so crazy. Like I'm I'm looking at the it right now, and like there's so much in there in terms of like the the geometries, and like I remember when I when I was seeing the painting in person, like it would move and it would change and it would shift, and I would continue to see like all of these wild patterns in it, and not only that, but like the colour of it would also change. I remember I was just like, Jesus, this changed colour again, like wow, like what's going on here? And like I'd I'd love to ask you a little bit about um what your creative journey has been to move into doing such geometrical beauty, creating such geometrical beauty, um, because it's it's it's a very specific, you know, way of working. And um uh yeah, so what what's your creative journey been like to to um discover this way of working or move into this way of working?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, actually, because it's probably worth knowing because a lot of people look at it, especially digitally, when people see it online or on a phone or or whatever, or a post, they think it's a digital image or it's been created with computers, but they're all they're all handmade, it's all acrylic paint, it's all uh you know completely um uh handmade. And um so yeah, so the I started working this one behind me. Obviously, the so my daughter uh is now 14, so this one is one of the early ones in this kind of style. So I always kind of uh painted using pattern and geometry, um historically with a paintbrush, you know, and that sort of thing. So I always painted in that way. Um, but then I travel went traveling, um, immersed myself in um other cultures around the world. Part of that was being in Australia, where I sort of, you know, was inspired to start painting with dots. Um and then um got back to the UK after traveling and and traveled in Asia as well, obviously, where sort of creating mandanas is quite uh particularly in India, um is is part of their culture. And then when I got back here, um yeah, I just sort of started experimenting with it, playing with the paint, and like um so it's it's I paint horizontally uh on a table, and it's very liquid the paint. So I'm dipping the tools into the liquid paint and then dotting it on. Um, and then I sort of start to sort of really enrich them. And I don't, again, I'm not sure how well it comes across digitally, but there are layers and layers and layers and layers of paint in there. So you know, I paint a background, I then paint a layer of dots, I then turn that into the background and then paint back over the top. So this it's multi-multi-layer, so you get a really deep, kind of rich surface, and I think that's why the light can often sort of change on them so much, because there's a I look do a lot of sanding, so each lay there's lots of layers, and then sanding it back and grinding it down, and so there's there's lots of texture in there, um, which yeah, when you shrink it down to like postcard size, it it almost doesn't quite come through. But um yeah, so that's kind of how the sort of craft of side of the process evolved, and yeah, I mean, as as anybody who's kind of got a creative practice note, it becomes quite addictive, you just want to do it more and more and more. Uh, and I've evolved different shape tools. Um using square tools, I think I'm gonna have a look at my trying to make some triangular tools so the dots aren't just round, you get different shapes that then sort of play into different geometries as well.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, nice. I I I really love the tactile nature of it because um when when you get close to it, you see that all of the bumps they've they've they've got uh a slight raising, and to actually like run my hand across it, it just feels so nice because you can feel all these textures and these bumps, and some some areas where, like you say, it's been sanded back, so you can't feel that, and it just just brings just like you know, it feels like there's so much going on with these and and and so much kind of behind beyond the veil that that you can't actually see with it. And and I I I wonder if that's that's you know the the creation journey that you go through, and and you know, because I know there's a couple of different stages, uh like the structural layer and then and then the colour on top. But well, I I was freaking blown away when when you said that it's it's freehand, like you say you're like drawing the circles uh with with a compass, but then the rest of it is freehand somehow. Uh it still boggles my mind because it it's it's just like um you know to to my eyes like geometric perfection uh and and it's boggling that someone could uh do that freehand. Um it's just really like wow.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I'll put like yeah, as you said, I put put a bit of uh guidance. I sort of put some guidance into the background so that as I'm painting that structural layer of dots, then you can kind of measure it out. And it's it's quite interesting because they kind of like what you tend to find is like on the opposite sides of of of the piece, they the dots kind of start bunching together, and then on the other two sides they'll start spacing out. So there's like so you have to try and make sure they don't sort of bunch together too much in one place, otherwise they if they get too close, then you can't kind of keep them all spaced out enough. And also where they start to space out, then they they start to move in, and where they bunch together, they push out. So you've kind of really got to kind of keep it balanced and remember to like pull them out when they're getting too wide apart, and it's it's it's like it is a little game that it sort of plays with me whilst whilst I'm doing it, because I'm obviously aiming for as close to perfection as possible. Um but but I think again, the other one of the other things I think actually when people are looking at it, they know it's organic because if it were a computer had done it, then every dot would be perfectly measured to the pixel as to how far away from the next dot it was going to be, you know, perfectly pitched from each each dot would be perfectly pitched from every other dot. Whereas because it is organic and they're not perfectly positioned, and there are different gaps between them around it, then um yeah, I think it it definitely feels like a sort of more organic object in that way.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Despite looking almost Yeah, for sure, for sure. I I I'd love to do the experiment of like uh having like a generated one next to a real one, and actually like someone goes in and they don't know what the uh original image is. I guarantee that they they would go for the original because uh there's there's something there's something in that I mean well the soul is in it for one. Um I think that's that's probably the main thing, it's infused with soul, but the other one won't be, and and and you know we um uh we have these like uh imperfections through life that make us uh like you know human, it's what makes us human, you know. So it it it's like I think like one will transmit a hell of a lot uh more than the other. And have you have you ever got halfway through a mandala and then just be like, oh no shit, like it is is it's going sideways and it's too too far beyond correction. So right, I've got to start again.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, or often uh one of the things that often happens is like I'll I'll get to a certain point in it and I'll think, oh fucking hell, that bit's awful. Like it's I've ruined it. But then you keep going, you just push on, and then suddenly the context of what you do next puts that bit that you thought was wrong, like somehow then comes into context with the next bit and it and it all balances back out. So it can kind of like yeah, it can it can yeah, and sometimes you like you'll go to bed thinking, oh god, I don't like it, or oh it's not right, and then you get up in the morning and you look at it like, oh no, it's all good, it's all good. Right, it's yeah, so it can it can uh I think because of the amount of time that goes into them as well, like the time and the effort, like um, then yeah, you it it could be heartbreaking if you did end it, you're like get to a certain point, you know, get that far down the line and then feel like you'd gone that far wrong with it, I suppose. But yeah, um and the other the other thing is actually after this, like because one of the most time consuming bits is the structural layer where you put the first layer of dots in and you're building the you're building the geometry rather than the actual end coloration of it. Um and then that's when the sandpaper and the paint comes out, and I actually I I actually with the with the um sort of guiding layer and as well, then I'll actually just smear the paint around with my hands, don't use handbrushes, just sort of smear paint all over it, get fingerprints and marks and sort of in it, and then grind it back down. And and that's when you think, you know, you could, you know, having put like days and days or even weeks worth of effort in, you can then ruin it, you know, like quite quickly. Um and that's when you know, and then it's just building up those layers until it's like suddenly like yes. Now I can now and then you get to play. That's that's just sort of like the structural bit's good. I I enjoy it. It's like it is an interesting game, and you know you're building something that you're gonna play with, but then that final layer of dots is when it's like becomes like super, super fun, because then you're picking out geometries and colours and tone and really, really get to to play with it. It's yeah, that's that's the bit I uh I I sort of uh look forward to the most, I guess.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so so so the structural layer is like all of the white dots, um which which form like well, I guess the structure, and then the the second phase is the colours, right? And then it's with putting the L's in there, that's that's where you can play.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. Amazing, amazing. Well, like this this whole uh experience has just been freaking incredible because I I feel like I've I haven't just received uh uh an amazing piece of art because there's been so much around that in terms of the the experience feeling like a ceremony, which I know is like very, very intentional, like because you you are weaving in this deeply ceremonial aspect, and you know, with some of the themes that you're working with, like life transitions, I mean these are ceremonies, so I I just love the fact that you know you are doing this uh as a ceremony, and and um you know, and what one of the things that impressed me the most was like how well you were able I think we only just had one call, maybe two calls, well maybe just one call around exactly what I was looking for. Um and I didn't even know exactly what I was like looking for a hundred percent. And you were able to distill what I shared and with you and crafted not only this beautiful work of art, but um a ceremonial handover that freaking brought me to tears, man. Like it was so beautiful, like so to to to share. Like um went went to Cass's and uh you know he's got the got the painting all um you know covered up, and um, you know, you you you read this poem out and uh with your hand on my back, and it was it's the poem that got me going, man. And because you you you dialed into exactly you know what I brought to you in in terms of my portal. So my portal was um uh life transition, moving into the next phase of life, it was which is Dreamweaver. This is this is the next stage of what I'm creating in my life, and and and the next stage of what I'm creating for myself. Uh so it was like a really, really big, very, really big thing. I know that you know a big part of my story was overcoming shame and um and overcoming many many things. And you had dialed this into such a beautiful poem uh or reading letter um uh that that hit me to the core, and I was crying, man. Obviously, you remember, and then you you you you took you took the the sheet off. Um it was wild. This image just hit me like a soft loving wave. And I was flabbergasted. I I didn't have anything to say. I was just like looking at it, just like just overcome with beauty, and and the wild thing is it's like uh you know my digestive organs started moving, like my belly was making rumblings, my I've seen things in the in in it, and my heart was uh blown open, and every single time I looked at it, my my heart would just be blown open. It's this is very deep spiritual technology, and yeah, it's it's it's just incredible like um what what you're putting together with this, and and particularly like this this ceremonial handover, like I'll I'll never forget it, and it makes it so much more than a piece of art, you know. It really, really marks that. So, yeah, like um I also understand that this was like quite a deep ceremony for you as well, like like painting this. I'd love to like ask you a little bit about like the the the creation process that um that went into this um this Dreamweaver portal.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, I guess as you uh just to touch on the ceremonial element of um then yeah, so obviously we we were friends already, so I kind of you know have a bit more depth on on you personally, but yeah, with uh with um other people then there'll probably be a there's be a seri there's a series of calls that we'll take so I can get to understand them, get to know them, get to understand what they're marking, and like um gather their sort of colours and symbols and geometries and anything that they want me to kind of weave into this this portal. So that there is a process there of getting to understand the person, um, which actually on uh for the ones that I've done already, actually it does it does seem to come quite quickly and quite naturally. Um as you said, it doesn't take a huge amount, and then there is my obviously I feed my intuition into that, but then also there's just you you just open it up to the mystery and let the sort of magic happen, if you know what I mean, and let some of the mystery just take control um of what goes into it. Um and then should we should we come back to the the ceremony process at the end, or shall I yeah, and I'll just tell you a little bit about the actual creative process of of Phoenix because um so yeah, so for me, like so threshold portals as as a as a concept only sort of started opening up um in October last year. Um so it was this dream that I was building because I wanted to build a new life for myself using my creative practice, um, and I wanted to do it in a safe way for you know my children and people that are around me. I didn't want to just sort of jack the job in and try and make a load of art, you know. I kind of wanted to do make this create this thing that was going to be sustainable and nurturing. Um and somehow like the art world didn't feel right. So I thought actually, do you know what I want to offer people this this service? Um but yeah, and then uh then we started working together, and so I had this portal to make for you, and then at Christmas, uh basically I had a a sort of catalogue of things that just led me to be completely alone at Christmas. Um so the people that I loved, my children, weren't there, um, and yeah, just ended up in this really sort of bizarre place that that just yeah, you don't expect to be in at Christmas. Um and then I had Phoenix to make, and like I was struggling to get out of bed, and you know, was basically going through a sort of breakdown, you know, fairly significant breakdown, you know, really sort of emotionally sort of traumatized through it. Um but then I would had Phoenix to make, and I got up and I started painting, and I just I remember just putting on some music and just being like, and it just got me going, and and I and I was just like nothing, like nothing, and nobody can take this away from me. This is mine, and this is you know, this is something that I can do, and nothing can change it, and nothing can control it, and it makes me happy, it and it gets me moving, and it reminds me to listen to to music and put things on, you know, and um yeah, I mean it was just it was a really, really beautiful process. And the fact that your sort of big symbol or sim symbolic sort of concept was the phoenix, you know, this. Being born back out of the fire, and that's exactly what I was going through. I was like in the middle of the fire when I started it. You know, I was getting, you know, going through this kind of destruction and this rebirth at that time where I was also trying to build this dream, and I had this initial portal to make that was all coming out of that, and it was, yeah, it was a really, really beautiful thing to have to make. And yeah, and I was rebirthing myself at the same time, and it was um, so yeah, it was it was pretty spectacular, and then um so yeah, I think actually through that sort of Christmas break, as it you know, that's when sorry, by the time that finished, like the structural layer was done, so that geometry was there, it was laid down, and then over the preceding weeks after that, as I sort of came through and started to get out the other side of the real, sort of low, so you know, that that point, I then had the you know, the the bit the you know, the the um you know, all of the colours to play with, and you kind of gave me the full spectrum, you know, you gave me all of the colours of fire, which were yellow, red, orange, you know, and then you gave me green, which was I think relayed around heart chakra, um, or was, you know, that's kind of how I interpreted it, and then also you laid in like every other colour of the spectrum. So I didn't realise sort of how much I had to sort of balance on it as well, because when you've got that many sort of colours to balance, and you're trying to also balance all of the tone and everything in in the whole mix, then um, yeah, and then when I finished it, I just was like, you know, it was pretty extraordinary. You know, you look at it, you know, yeah, you know, patting myself on the back for done a good job on that one.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, bro, like, yeah, well, well and Pat. Jesus Christ is um, yeah, yeah, well when when you told me the story initially of of that, I didn't I didn't realise what fully what you were going through. And actually hearing it again, I got goosebumps, uh goosebumps all over my arms, and and uh it's it's so interesting because um, you know, I would you know I think like ev every single portal that you create, you know, there's a massive part of you going through that, and and I guess that you're gonna be quite connected to the person and the themes that they're going through as well. And you're kind of like pulling that in, and and and you know, it it it's kind of like you're you're like in in a way, I guess, embodying that energy to to put that frequency in or or channel channel what needs to be channelled through you um in order to weave this and and um and it was just so so poignant as well for so many reasons. I mean you you're going through this deep deaf rebirth and um and to know that actually the the doing this painting was uh was an anchor for this super difficult um time that you're going through was just made me feel just freaking amazing and just so happy that um yeah like it it it was that for you and and um and it's so interesting as well because it's it's the Phoenix portal and I also see it as the dreamweaver portal and and again it's so it's so poignant because I've been speaking a lot uh around the dream and and the nightmare and and and actually how the the the dream is our is our is our way out of the nightmare. So the nightmare is the the difficulties we face in life, the low states, the burnout, the um just the the pain that we're suffering that that we go through as as humans and and looking at the dream as as this anchor, this north star that can actually pull us out of that nightmare and give us purpose and direction and something to focus on. And uh and it's it's it's wild because it's just like it feels like uh you correct me if I'm wrong, but like it feels like that this portal was serving as as an anchor for you and and and and that that that kind of like made way through the challenge, and and also like the other mad synchronicity is like this this was the first portal that you painted of fresh up fresh old portals and dreamwhipper, man. This is all about people creating their dreams, man. And it was just it was just like the level of synchronicity with with with the story behind this painting, and and just just hearing it, it just feels so special. I I got goosebumps just uh talking and and and just yeah, I don't know that that was the energy from which this portal was birthed and and the love and the frequency that that you've instilled in there. Like I say, this is a I'm looking at it right now, it's just this it's a deep technology. This this this is how I would describe it. It's not a painting, it's a spiritual technology which is deeply mysterious and um I could sit and look at for hours, you know, and and and it would keep giving and giving and giving. So yeah, just yeah, just thank you for creating this beautiful work.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, going but I was gonna say also like when I was going through that that period as well, like I uh you know, in the past or other times, you know, then and and even since then, like, you know, I would maybe you know you drink or take drugs or you know get out of your head, you know, and or mask over these these deep emotions and this difficulty, but like I couldn't do any of that. Like I you know, I didn't I couldn't put any of that into my body at that time. And it was just like I just couldn't do it. But you know, and so having that as well was just like it was it was like a medicine, you know, and it was yeah, like as you say, just having this purpose and this drive and this dream, like pulling you out of it instead of going, oh, I'm just gonna hit the bottle, I'm gonna go down the pub, I'm just gonna get trashed, I'm gonna, you know, just make things worse, basically, you know, which is what we often often do. But yeah, and um, and and interesting that like you know, then sort of a few months later, as I'm trying to sort of actually manifest this dream into into a real a working reality with marketing and that sort of stuff, I actually have found that I had to sort of completely completely cut out alcohol and things like that that just are so deep demotivating, like they just stop you moving on. And as soon as I made that decision and and and did that, then the content for the website just poured out of me, you know, like and you know, all of the kind of things that I could was struggling to sort um move forward with just you know became became released, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Wow, that's so interesting, man. So interesting. You know, hats off to you because like bro, like you know, where where things were at, that would have been such an easy way route to take. You know, it would have been the easier route to take, but the the harder route to take, obviously, in the long run, but but you you know, you you went into what was actually I imagine quite a hard engagement, you know, in in terms of like you know, when when when you're not feeling good, I could imagine like the last thing you one might want to do is actually go into a very deep creative process, but it's just like it's like you took that pain and freaking alchemized it, which is which is Phoenix energy, man. Like that's what it's all about, and and just you've created just this uh just a portal. And I'm I'm so excited because it's uh I I I have many theories around what this painting is gonna create, and there's also many things that I know it will create which I can never theorize or or think about, and and uh I know that this is gonna be such an important anchor for this project, and um and like a uh yeah, it's it's like a rallying symbol. In fact, I I had a reading with a psychic the other day who actually I've not shared this with you, actually. I asked the psychic about the painting, and uh and he and he told me he's just like uh he could kind of see he couldn't see it, but he could see it in his mind's eye, and he's just like, yeah, it he said it it will become like a rallying point for people in the in this movement, and so he didn't know anything about the painting, but he he he he he said that so um and yeah it's it's just it's just so special, it's um yeah, just so deep gratitude. And I want to ask you actually, you said something really interesting about um like letting like the mystery take over, or something like that. Like and so you know, I I I think when we're really following our passion, following our hearts and and and in tune with with our dream, and we're we're in tune with something beyond us. Um and you know, uh many people say that that the artists and musicians are are channels for for for other forces. So yeah, I'd love to ask you about like that mystery and what what what you feel is is is is taking hold and and and happening during during these times.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well I think as well, because this this sort of the the work I make looks really sort of measured and planned and you know um you know it looks uh like you know very structured, but actually um a lot of a lot of the decision making is spontaneous or automatic. Do you know what I mean? It's and and I think we've sort of come up, there's like an idea in the in the in particular in sort of Western art circles that like spontaneous work has to be sort of like splashing paint around and throwing yourself, you know, rolling about and you know, kind of everything has to be kind of done in a gestural kind of way to be spontaneous. But I think spontaneity is just about decision making, isn't it? And and so um yeah, I don't plan these, like they just they unfold, they get they they happen on the table. Do you know what I mean? It's like I don't sort of get like as you say, you know, I do a little bit of sort of guidance with the compass just to help the geometry stay nice and uh you know as as as um tight as possible, but like yeah, the sort of where the marks go, the size of the dots, you know, it's all just in the moment decision making. Um, and I think for that reason, yeah, then things come out in them that are mysterious, you know. Um like uh I often ask people if they've got any numbers that uh significant to them, and I don't I don't think you had any, but I don't know if you found any in it yet. But like um there's been a couple of incidents where like people have sort of said, no, not particularly, or maybe this or that, you know, and then I'll paint it and then like a really significant number will come out in the piece. Um, you know, like uh for example, you know, there was uh a nine-pointed star came out in in one piece, and um like you know, who whoever thinks of a nine-pointed star, it's not like a a common symbol, is it? It's like kind of odd. And I pointed it out, and then it and and turned out that uh um the subject's birthday was the ninth of the ninth, you know. So like nine was like her number, but I had not asked her, she hadn't said anything to me about that, like it had never come up. She said, No, I don't have any significant numbers, but it came. Do you know what I mean? So the mystery just brought us the nine, and then because there was a nine, there was 27, and then you know, then other things just came out in the piece which were just you know not specifically planned, but they just got picked out in the as it was made, you know. So um, oh, and the other one was, yeah, like uh um I made the the the one for someone who was a Hindu and 108 came out. There was these rings and rings that looked like droplets, like when something had landed in water and there's you know the rings come out from the the droplet. This had these very sort of defined rings, and those rings were all 108 dots, you know. And I hadn't planned that, and I didn't I didn't even notice until afterwards when I was sort of counting them, you know. So just yeah, things things just come out as without being planned, you know, just through the the decision making or you know, whatever's happening at the time.
SPEAKER_01Uh that is so wild because um 108 is significant to Hindu culture because this is the um the number of mantras that they would do in a circle, right? Um and for that to just happen, I mean like well, you know, what are the chances of that? Like it's it's just it's unbelievable. And and it it's just to look at it, it's just like it's it's unbelievable that this isn't planned because it it does look like uh well I I can't fathom how it can be, but you know, I fully, fully which just makes it just more amazing.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean they they obviously evolve because once you've got your structural layer in, you know what size dots, you know, you kind of the geometry is there, isn't it? But it's how you then pick that out with the next layer and the colours that then go on top. That's when you kind of pick out uh yeah, some of the sort of more unusual things come out in it. Yeah. And Matt, how many dots is on there? Like thousands, but I've never I've never actually count you can you can get Chat GPT to count that one.
SPEAKER_01Oh well, I will, I'm interested. Yeah, man, yeah. Uh absolutely.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, no, I've never counted, but I mean there'll be thousands on there, and obviously a lot of them get painted twice or sometimes even three times if you put another dot on top. So amazing, amazing.
SPEAKER_01So what what what is the threshold portal that you are currently walking through if there is one that uh that you're currently traversing?
SPEAKER_00My own, my own threshold. Yeah. Um yeah, so I think well for me it is is basically my it is turning this sort of concept or whatever you want to call it, this this I way of offering my work to people, turning that into my full-time way of life. Um so, you know, as well, when I first painted that, then um I decided to get a job, uh, a day job, and my money doing something completely unrelated. Um, and I thought that's you know, that's what I need to do, because you know, I'm having children, I need to support a household. Um, and part of me said, actually, that's good for my creative practice because I can have my creative practice as this deeply personal private journey where I can there's no commercial pressure, I haven't got to make money from it, it can just evolve, I can hone my craft, I can do all of this stuff behind closed doors, um, and just get on with it, and it can stay magical and special and not have any pressure, uh, and I'll earn my money over here. Um, but then you know, life unfolds, you know, these structures that you create, like you know, they fall apart, they get taken away from you, and then sort of end of last year, I sort of found myself in this place where I was like living this life that no longer served me. And I was like, why am I going to this job now? I don't, you know, what what is it? Just it was like none of it seemed to fit what I wanted out of life anymore. And yeah, I sat on a hillside with a friend and just looked out across Dartmoor and was just like, I I can't do this anymore. I've got to find a way of making my creative practice my life, and through conversations with that friend, and and uh and taking, and there was some inspiration actually through taking mushrooms during that period. Obviously, you've got the wild the liberty caps growing on the moors, you know, that kind of opened me up as well, and the threshold portals thing just suddenly came to mind through a couple of meetings with different people, um, and taking my work to the dance uh and displaying my work as an altar at the dance. So creating that that sort of started, that was where the kind of idea of creating altars with the work came from, um which I'll weave into the ceremonies, uh, which we can which we should get on to in a minute. Um, yeah, so my the threshold I'm crossing is going from sort of safe, structured security of employment um into this sort of wild um lifestyle where I'll basically be master of my own destiny and you know, hopefully fed and nurtured by this work and getting to give it back to people in this um yeah, special way. And you know, rather than having to go through a commercial route of the art where I'm selling it through galleries, people are taking a cart, it's like you know, all of that kind of stuff, or you've got to make a body of work, you've got to then sell that body of work, or you've got to pump out nine million prints, or do all of this kind of stuff. Like somehow that just seems like a lot of hard work to me, and like you've got to be constantly, constantly on it trying to sell the stuff. Um, and I was thinking, you know, makes sense to sell to have to be making something that is, you know, um got a home to go to. Just just kind of feels right, and actually as well. Uh uh the the the beautiful thing about it as well is it's actually each piece is push pushes me more, like it pushes my creative process because it's not just me in my little shell doing my little thing that I want to do, it's got this collaboration with the person that it's for as well, which actually I think you know pushes me to create something more special.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, beautiful, man, beautiful. And yeah, I yeah, it's hats off to you because it it it it takes a lot to make so like such a big decision of like like that. And and I I I I really truly believe that um when we move towards our dream and when we take that leap of faith and in in trust that it will work, and with this it's gonna work. Uh I can't see how it won't. It's it's just so unique, so special, and and and such a beautiful medicine that that that you're bringing forward within um with within these paintings. Um and uh I I really I really think that when we take that leap of faith, we're met. We're really met within that. Um so yeah, I I I just look for I look so forward to this flourishing and growing and uh and yeah, you as a happy bunny just spending your days just dotting out people's dreams, you know, it's freaking great. It's freaking great. Yeah, I'd so yeah, you you said about the ceremonial aspect of it, yeah. Um uh maybe let's let's revisit that and I'd love to ask yeah ask you about what will a little bit more ceremonial aspect.
SPEAKER_00That's yeah, because uh you know, as well. I just wanted to I think that because uh yeah, obviously at the beginning, you know, you're drawing in the information, you're trying to get this this um information out of people, you know, that they get their sort of uh understand about them and what they want. And that so that is that you know that can be done with ceremonial ritual or just calls and conversation. But yeah, for me, the big the big sort of ceremonial element is that the handover because this is when um you're giving them the work and you are giving them something that they can take back into their home and their life, and you want it to nurture them and be on their wall and make you know remind them of whatever this thing was that they wanted to celebrate. Um so yeah, at the same time as creating the piece, then I also write a letter, and as you you call it poem. So the the I use very poetic language, but I write a deep sort of hop hopefully deeply personal letter to this person about the what they're crossing and how you know what I have sort of what I've sort of learnt about them, and just sort of give them back something um verbally um before they see the piece. Um so create create the piece, create an altar for the piece so that the piece is um you know got got uh you know is is sat ceremonially and then yeah, then as I as you said I'll I'll you know provided they don't mind being touched, like put my hand on their heart but on their back be behind them, so I'm you know, hand on their heart from behind, and then read them the letter, um, which I think kind of is an opener for them. It kind of opens up and hopefully lets them know that I've understood what they what who they are and what they they wanted, and then yeah, and then unveil it, and then hopefully they don't go. Hopefully they uh you know they fall in love with it then and there straight in the moment, you know?
SPEAKER_01And so far so far, so good, a hundred percent hit rate, so you know Yeah, long long may it continue, long may it continue 'cause yeah I mean like you know, I I've seen my portal as many things, but what one thing is uh it's like an it feels like it's an organizing principle. Really feels like that. And um organising principle for many things. Um you know, I feel like I could look at that and get ideas from it. Creative ideas of of of a Dreamweaver, and and it also feels like um, you know, it's something people couldn't organise around. Um so you know, this is partly what it is what's what's becoming for me. And and uh but I can also imagine, you know, if someone's lost a loved one and you know you've gone through this this this this process within the ceremonial process and whilst also infusing your love and it because it bro it takes you a long time to do this like a couple of couple of months each portal, isn't it? More or less.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well obviously when when with yours I'm still work we're still working full time, so that that did take me two months, yeah. Like but um yeah, I mean they take weeks, weeks and weeks, like the large ones. I mean uh to put it in context for people, yours is 120 centimetres squared. Yeah, um so those yeah, um that's minimum for four four to six weeks, really. Yeah of work.
SPEAKER_01It's like I I can imagine with with everything that goes into it, as well as the ceremony, as well as the person's reasoning, like you know, if someone's lost someone, my god, it must must be that like every single time they see the portal, it's like that that that person's energy and and the specialness is infused into that image. You know, I wouldn't be surprised if it was what a way to remember someone, you know, or or to or to you know mark mark someone's passing and and and also you know what a cool thing to give or like to commission for like a birth of a kid. Because then like you know, like it's a snapshot in time of the energy of of what was happening around around the pregnancy that then is creates this like what can then be like a family heirloom that that's gonna then be united with that child all the way through their life and and and you know for and and for me like uh not not just um organizing principle. I mean like this this is the thing that is um marking the change in my life that I've wanted to make for so many years. You know, I'm going through a lot of change and transformation at the moment, and really feels like you know the next part of my life is is about to unfold and and you know it is unfolding. I'm I'm on like the first page of a new chapter right now, and and like this is like um a herald of that and a and a and a line in that sand and and and the creation of the new and it's just like they're it's so special like what you're what you're doing here so special, like it's like yeah, just feel hypnotized looking at the thing, it's it's just yeah, incredible. I just need to get it out of Costa Rica's on my uh freaking blooper, like uh obviously you know this, but to share, like so because I wanted the the biggest one, uh which is my national contention. Um I I got an airline ticket back and it was cool to get on the airline KLM, but then they put it through a carrier, Delta Airlines, where it wasn't cool. So so my portals I'm in Costa Rica, my portals back in the UK, and it's just like damn it. So um yeah, just just trying to get this out there here at the moment, but yeah, it's a ready to fly. It's ready to fly. Ready to fly, the best packed thing I've ever seen in my life. Like Bray put put some armour around that painting. It's like like good to travel, bomb proof, bomb-proof on the journey.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Actually, talk talking about dreams, it it was uh as well as something else that's happened to me recently. I was thinking about work international work, and um, you know, obviously people in the UK, it's very simple, isn't it? Because we're all here, we can move around, we can see each other, and that sort of thing. But you know, if somebody in Costa Rica or I don't know, Australia or somebody wants to I thought I came up with this, I've got this seed of an idea. I mean, it's obviously you know, it's the sort of next perhaps step of threshold portals is to offer people like a personal artist in residence and like travel out there, be hosted by them, you know, make the portal in their home and then leave, you know, then carry out the ceremonies and leave the portal, you know, with them, you know, because institutions have artists in residence, you know, they can they they get you know, why you know the idea of having your own personal one. Um, I mean it's not it's not something I've heard of before. Maybe maybe other people offer it already, I don't know. But like I just thought that'd be quite quite a cool experience, wouldn't it? Like it's great for me because I'd get to travel, live with local people, you know, explore somewhere new, and then at the same time they would then get to you know have this experience as well. And it and it saves on having to ship it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I I I think it's a freaking great idea, man, because also you know, you get to immerse much deeper in the energy of that place, which I guess will then also feed into the painting. So yeah, I I think this is like a great idea. Like uh, so yeah, I mean if if uh like if there's anyone like internationally like looking at getting these painted like like one painted, like um if if you were going like full-time on on the painting, like how long would it take? How how long would you be in residence for?
SPEAKER_00It depends really. I mean depends how many hours a day you pour into it, but um, you know, we'd probably have to lock in a time limit, wouldn't we? Yeah, something like that. But um I don't know. I if I really pushed, I reckon I could finish a large one in probably four weeks. Um but between four to six for a large one, and then you know, for a smaller, you know, I could do smaller ones and just finish in a week or two weeks. Do you know what I mean? So um it's it's it's all about the scale, you know. I mean, I guess you could could you could do larger ones that are slightly less complex if somebody really wanted a large one but only wanted you there for two weeks. And I don't snore by the way, if anyone wonders.
SPEAKER_01I can attest to that. Yeah. Um that's cool. I I just noticed something actually, man. I've seen like you you you've got uh band on uh with the canoes, uh so the canoes being this sacred geometry. And man, I I know I haven't made this link, but man, the the portal and the canoes, they look they're they're they live on the same tree. Like I've only just uh I've just seen that. It's really interesting. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah, well, yeah. Um yeah, when I enter those states, like I yeah, see deep, deeply complex geometrical and symbolic sort of realms as that's where that that's where I go. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I'd love to ask a little bit more about that actually. Yeah, like what um yeah, what what what state do you go in? Because like uh initially I was imagining that you could you kind of get to the painting zone out for four hours and suddenly it's just like oh wow, the painting this amazing thing.
SPEAKER_00But yeah, sorry, it must sorry, say again. Do you mean when with psychedelics or do you mean paint?
SPEAKER_01Sorry, uh uh when when you're painting.
SPEAKER_00Oh when I'm painting. Um sorry, I'm not sure I understood the question.
SPEAKER_01Uh what's the state like when you when when you go into the portal of creating the portal and you're there working away.
SPEAKER_00So the sort of um um do you know what? Like music really, really helps actually. Like, and especially if I'm sort of perhaps struggling with motivation or getting to it, if you know what I mean, or not sort of knuckling down on it. So me music helps, so like putting on music and often sort of finding the right music. Um so that that does that helps. And then I I listen to a lot of electronic music, sort of you know, like repetitive, almost sort of tribal side kind of stuff. So that kind of that rhythm. Um and then because I have uh I guess I could just sort of show you my table. So uh that is the table that I work on there.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, because I'm on a table at that level, so you go round and round and round it. So it is a ritual, you know. It's like are you going round and round and round and round the table, you know, doing more and more dots, you know, each time you're going round. Sometimes you have to change, sometimes I change direction, do you know what I mean? And and go different ways around the table. Um, so it is a really it's a deeply sort of ritualistic sort of process. Um so yeah, you do kind of uh get into certain zones with it. Um yeah. Yeah. And there there is one thing actually that does sometimes happen, and I it um it it hasn't like sometimes you kind of at the end when you're sort of when you've reached a point where you can't do any more, there's like this euphoric exhaustion, like the there's just this like really sort of pleasant tiredness in you, like that just you know, it's like you've taken a drug, like and that there's like this kind of you know, deeply sort of euphoric feeling of but it's also an exhaustion, you know. It's like that's you you've worn yourself into euphoria, if you know what I mean. So yeah, yeah, it's a it's a nice state.
SPEAKER_01Amazing, man, amazing. Cool, brother. So man, this has been great. Um before we start start winding down, is it is there anything else that you want to share around um fresh old portals or like the creative process or anything that that we didn't touch on that you'd like to touch on?
SPEAKER_00Um I guess we've probably covered most of it, didn't we? Like, yeah, and I guess one thing is like you know, like I I'm 45, you know, so and I'm just getting to this now, and it's like you know, you you could think, oh damn, I wish I'd been doing like I wish I'd come up with this idea soon, but it's just knowing that all of the things that you've ever done, good or bad, or whatever happened, you know, uh it's all fed into this moment, and like without any of those things happening and all of that weaving into this, like I never would have come up with this process when I was like 25. Do you know what I mean? It's like I just you know, my soul hadn't evolved far enough. Do you know what I mean? So it's like, you know, even though I'm kind of in midlife, it feels like the right time for this, and and and I have the ability and the you know, the skills built by all of that experience to take this and turn it into something and and take it out of the world and offer it to people. Um so yeah, although there have been times in the past where I kind of, you know, I'm wrestling, you know, like in fight club with my, you know, beating myself up, you know, and and uh and and all of that stuff that I should have been doing something different, or I'm not following my dream, or I'm not doing the right thing, or uh, you know, then you get here and you're like, well, that all made sense, that all makes sense now, all that shit from the past.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, no, I I love that man. I I think everything is preparing us for now, and everything's brought us to now, like the like you like you shared. And I really, really strongly believe in the choreography of life and that we're we're never we're never late, we're never early, we're always on time for what's what what's coming. Um, but also you know, that doesn't take away from our responsibility to engage in that process because we we can always have a choice not to do these things, you know. You could just um you could have decided with all of your skills and all this stuff not to take that hero's journey, not to take that leap, and um and you know you'd be in a different reality right now. So um, you know, I I think we're weaving as we're being woven and that you you uh you're you're opening this portal um and saying yes to this. I think you know you're supported in that, um really, really divinely supported in in in just about every way. And you know, I really believe that with this as well, it's such an acute but beautiful spiritual technology. It's not just a painting, it's healing. I like I'm I'm convinced, based on what I've seen. I sit in front of this painting and it changes me. You know, I can feel my body goes into a deep parasympathetic place, my heart opens, all sorts of very tangible bodily things are going on, man. This is not just a painting, it's a transmission. This is how I describe your art to people, it's it's it's transmission art, you know. It it it's it's um it's working in that way, and um and yeah, like uh I can just I just cannot wait to see this just go amazingly, and like all these people all over the planet to receive their portals and portals into who knows what, and I can't wait for you to receive the stories from people as well of what happens through through these this this art, which is I'm sure gonna be a catalyst for so many things in so many people's lives. I really, really know that. Um really really believe that. Um I don't believe it, I know it. Uh living it myself. I'm I'm I'm I'm the one of the first um receivers of of this of this beauty, and this is really what I'm feeling. It's it's just amazing. So yeah, awesome, awesome. So so yeah, just uh coming to the end. So I got a question for you, my brother. So I'm gonna be asking this to all of the dreamweaver guests. Um I think we already know the question, uh, but the question is like, what is your dream? Uh or actually, what is your dream for threshold portals? Because I safely say you're living your dream and creating your dream with this. But what where would you like this to go?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think as I sort of touched on, I think for me, it's like for threshold portals to be my way of being, um, you know, not just my way of living. Um, you know, I want it to earn me money so that I can, you know, go about this world and in these sort of structures that have been created for us to move around in. But yeah, I want it to be my way of being. And um yeah, because it just it feeds me, I want it to feed other people, and um yeah, it feels magical and wonderful, and like the the the sort of all of the kind of fears that I've would have had about you know transitioning into full-time artistry instead of like safe employment have just sort of fallen away. And um, yeah, as I think as you said, it just feel like I just have this sort of I don't know if it's a confidence or or what, but I just it feels like it's just gonna work and I don't have to worry too much, and like worrying is not gonna serve me, so I just need to to just um yeah, just put push on with it and and and make it happen. And like no one else is gonna do it for me. That's the other thing, isn't it? With with dreams, it's like you have to initiate it, you have to work on it, you have to drive it. It's like there's no one else that's gonna do it, like you're not gonna do it for me. I have got to to to do this myself, and um yeah, and it just feels like so much fun. Like it's just like it's gonna give me a lifestyle that I that that I want, you know. And um yeah, and my commute to work is gonna be from that bed there to that table there. Do you know what I mean? I'm not just sitting in a car for 40 minutes each way, every day, and all that kind of stuff. So it's just like the just the simple little things like that, you know. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01I had this funny image as you're speaking of um of of you in like 30 years' time or 40 years' time, like with like this like long magician wizard, like is this the portal wizard? Uh I just had this image of you just like zipping open these psychedelic portals and people just jumping into it, like yeah, so um cool man. So uh another uh another question I want to ask people, and this is um uh as as I build this dream with the community, this is something that I really really want to uh bring forward, is is for this to be a hub for um people to um help each other, help one another, um, to build their dreams um ultimately. And um uh so yeah, I guess the question is like, how can people help you build this dream?
SPEAKER_00Um I mean commissioning a portal is probably the main one, isn't it? If people feel a connection to the work and they want to get involved, then yeah, then get in touch, you know. Um that would be the main one. Um, and then if you know, if they don't have the finances, then you know, I'm open to working out plans, but also promote, you know, anyone who wants to do some free promotional work for me by telling their friends, their family, anybody they know, then you know, share my Instagram when the I finally get my website to a standard that I'm happy with, then you know, getting just getting it out there and and following me and helping me that way if you know if you're not in a position to to go forward with a portal yourself. But yeah, or just always remember that they're there if you want one in the future.
SPEAKER_01Cool, cool. All right, nice one, brother. And I I know the website's under construction at the moment, soon to come out, but people can reach you through Instagram, yeah?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and yeah, just threshold at uh threshold portals on Insta, yeah. I mean, I am on I'm uh I'm on other platforms, but that's the that's the main one. So um that'll be the easiest way to get out of me. Um website coming soon. Well the website is there, but it's not I'm not happy with it yet. So yeah. Cool.
SPEAKER_01Dope man, this has been great. Uh so yeah, just Kaz, like thank, thank you so much again for this just uh I I I feel like words can't do it justice, this this this the beauty and majesty that has been pulled through from the ether and and and and channelled into this just just work of beauty, and and I'm so excited to see how this portal um unfolds and and and what it unfolds and and and like I say I I think I know some of it and I there's many things that I know that this paint said painting is gonna help create. So um just my deep gratitude to you and and and um yeah it's just given me so much more fire for for this project for Dreamweaver and and and having this as this this anchor, this North Star. It it feels that it feels like this is the sun from which Dreamweaver kind of orbits, you know, and and uh it's so special. And just thank you, thank you, my brother. Thank you so much for your love, your your your time, your energy, your expertise, everything that's that's gone into this this painting, and um and and most of all your friendship. And may may we walk uh uh may we walk for a long long time.
SPEAKER_00So yeah, no, well thank thank you for your friendship too, and thank you for handing me that project when I needed it most in my life as well. So yeah, it was yeah, really, really meaningful.
SPEAKER_01But bruh, I didn't actually mention this, like I didn't hand you this project, you came to me and volunteered this project, which again is just like mind-blowing. Like, because I I don't know if I've shared this too with you as well. Like, like that for me was one of the biggest green lights I've actually had for this project Dreamweaver, in that I didn't I didn't seek you out to to to paint this. Like you came you came to me, man, and uh and and uh and bro like like just volunteered, which is just mind-boggling, and and and you know what, like I you know, like that was that was such a huge seed for this project because uh I I took that as a very very hefty green light of do this, this is wanted, this is needed, and you know, this is gonna work. The fact that you know out of the blue you you came and and essentially, yeah, like said that it was a big thing.
SPEAKER_00I think we both I think we both shot a f I think we both shot a flare into the air at the same time, and that's definitely what happened.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so yeah, thank you, my bro. Alright, yeah, this has been great. That's a wrap. Thank you for listening, everyone, and bro, thank you for your time. Thank you for coming on.
SPEAKER_00Alright, so thank you.